“Good for you, not for me”, a philosophy that applies perfectly for mothers who are always inundated with unsolicited advice. This is a favourite phrase that Amy Poehler has used time and time again to respond to parenting choices, and it has stuck with me ever since. Just because certain things worked for others, does not necessarily mean it will work for you.
I remember my first few days at home with Jacob, I kept staring at him, took endless pictures, and grateful for the opportunity to be a mom. I was slowly healing from my c-section, basking in my new motherhood phase, and soaking up all the joy that came with having our little baby at home with us. We stayed with my parents during my confinement, my mom thought that would be best because I would have some help around. I can’t imagine transitioning into a new mother without their support, it really takes a village. But things started to get so real when my sister flew back to the UK for college. She was the one who would carry Jacob around and put him to sleep in the day, allowing me to get some rest.
Nothing in life was linear anymore and even though I knew I was getting into motherhood, motherhood still managed to catch me by surprise. Every aspect of my daily life was disjointed and I was finding it hard to do the most basic things like showering and eating. Even when my head hits the pillow at night, I was still on mom duty and was waking up nights to feed my little baby.
On top of my current vulnerability and exhaustion, so many people (family members, friends, and strangers alike) felt the need to offer advice, and give their opinions on my parenting decisions. It has happened way too often that it undoubtedly made me question my decisions as a new mom. While I’m sure they were well-intended, it did bother me and had me feeling rather anxious.
Even people that I've just met would make comments on whether my baby was warm enough, or eating enough, and shared their opinions on co-sleeping (which I do with my baby). But the funny thing is when one parenting advice is given, many others have given their thoughts on the same matter - and most of the time, they are all different!
Here is where I tell you that trusting your gut is so important. I have been co-sleeping with my baby ever since he was born and it has worked wonderfully for me. But I also have friends who are more comfortable sleeping separately, and that is great too (“Good for you, not for me”). Listen to your heart for only you and only you know what is right for you and your baby.
As a mom, we know more about our baby than anyone else does. When I would receive comments like how I shouldn’t ‘spoil’ my baby by carrying him so often, I feel like they just don’t see the whole picture. I love cuddles, I love having my baby close to me, maybe, my baby is the one that’s spoiling me with his heavenly love! Listen to your heart, mama! P.S. The Everyday Anxiety Of A New Parent