I finally agreed to leave Jacob with his grandparents today, but what has followed has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m doing my very best not to check in with my mum to see if he's doing ok, or if he needs me.
Both Tim's parents and mine have offered to take care of Jacob for the past many months so we could have a breather, spend some time together, and just be able to do our thing. While the thought of all of this sounds so dreamy, I simply couldn’t get to the point of letting go of Jacob.
The only other time that I was separated from my baby was when he was a month old and needed to be left at the NICU for his jaundice treatment. It was such a difficult experience, but I did get my first good night's sleep since giving birth. The other time would be tonight? maybe? If Tim is able to stop me from picking him up that is!
Before Jacob left with my mum earlier, I knew I had to make sure he understood the situation. I spent the entire morning telling him that I won’t be there with him and if he would still be up for a sleepover. He said repeatedly said yes without any hesitation, and it made me realise that I'm the one with separation anxiety! My two-year old is all grown!