When Jake was born, Tim and I were always in a state of worry. Sometimes without even realising it, we would find ourselves checking his breathing and staring at his belly as he inhales and exhales - then give each other a thumbs up afterwards, "he's good". Why do we keep doing this?
I'm not sure if you've seen this Netflix TV Series called Shameless. There was a scene where Debbie would put a little mirror under her baby's nose and wait for the condensation to occur as her baby exhales. Turns out this feeling of anxiety and nervousness is normal for first first-time parents. This means that a few weeks of late-night breathing checks is totally normal - so you can now stop wondering if you're being crazy, you're not.
Tim and I have messed up bad a few times. There was once when I accidentally dropped my phone on Jake's face while he was sleeping. I felt so bad that I cried myself to sleep that night. He was very forgiving about it that it made me feel even more terrible about the accident. Safe to say, there was definitely no more screen time during breastfeeding after that.
There were many days where I would find myself wondering if I'm doing things right, and stress out about stressing out and how being stressed can be so tiring! I put a lot of pressure on myself in trying to provide my baby with the best that I can. Being a mom definitely is overwhelming. But if I'm being entirely honest, I wouldn't be able to do it all without the helpful mom community I have found online. They are always there to constantly remind me that I'm not alone. These amazing moms have definitely contributed to my sanity and helped me keep my expectations in check.
One thing that I'm always reminding myself of is that no matter how much we mess up, at the end of the day we just have to push through, acknowledge our mistakes and learn from them. A friend of mine once told me that it's OK for parents to fall short sometimes, it's a way for our children to learn and accept life's imperfections because everybody makes mistakes - which is absolutely OK.
To all moms out there wondering if you're doing things right, always remember that you do not need to strive for perfection because you're already good enough for your baby. And that is all that matters. P.S. Listen To Your Heart